Anti-Semitism and College Apps

I've settled into my routine here on Kibbutz Revivim, and everything on the is going well. Although the war is still on everyone's minds, it's no longer our only topic of conversation. I think most people, myself included, are stressed out and tired of dealing with a situation over which we have no control. I no longer read 3 newspapers a night, although I read a few articles every other day and I just started "From Beirut to Jerusalem" by Thomas Friedman.

That being said, here are some things about the situation that are worth noting. First, there's been massive antisemitism all over the diaspora. Synagogues have been set aflame all over Europe, and in many places, particularly in France, Jewish men and women have been attacked and beaten. There was an article about it in the Jerusalem Post, although I haven't seen it in any other newspapers. One of my friends claims that he read that at a protest in Florida, a few people started chanting "Send them back to the ovens." Needless to say, I am shocked an appalled by this behavior. I honestly believed the world was past this, and I'm bewildered to find how much of the past lingers in our modern lives. I don't believe it's purely political either. When America attacked Afghanistan and Iraq, people were angry, but US Embassies in Europe didn't get burned, as far as I know.

A few days ago, the UN voted to "condemn" Israel's "targeting of civilians" in Gaza. The only country that voted against was Canada. So Jews and Israelis who believe that our strongest Ally is the US, try weighing that against their decision to abstain. Bush doesn't really support us, and I don't think he ever did. He used Israel to get what he wanted and keep the religious right's support, but the US wasn't willing to back it up. Thanks a lot, oh homeland of mine. The thing that bothers me most about the UN is that they haven't proposed any realistic solutions yet. They go around condemning things, but they don't actually seem to have any ideas as to how to stop them. The UNs proposed cease fire was rejected by Hamas. Hamas doesn't have a seat in the UN (as they are considered a terrorist organization), and so they rejected the cease fire on grounds that they weren't consulted in creating it. Apparently, fighters in Gaza are calling for a cease fire, but the leader of Hamas, who happens to be relaxing comfortable up in Syria, continues to refuse. Soldiers in Gaza are taking off their uniforms and deserting, becoming just another 'innocent' civilian.

But enough of all the war talk. I've devoted three full entries to it (as it's obviously very much on my mind), but I'm feeling worn out. So I'm going to talk a little about the trivial goings on of the Kibbutz. Hebrew classes have been going really well, and I feel like I'm starting to pick some things up. There are a few people on the Kibbutz who tend to grate on my nerves, but for the most part, I get along with everyone. Last weekend, a big group of us went on a hike through the desert and we've decided to make it a weekly event. I've also been working on my college applications, despite the fact that they aren't due for months. I'm nearly ready to submit the entire common app and I've already mailed my transcripts and a few supplements.

This is exciting for me for a number of reasons. My last year at CMU, I was supposed to officially apply to be in the BHA program, in which you combine courses from the school of music and the school of humanities to create your own major/program. The thing was, I couldn't seem to get myself to fill out the one-page application. I kept putting it off, despite the fact that it would have taken a full 10 minutes and was really more of a formality than anything. After a while, I thought to myself "If I were really excited about this and it was really what I wanted, I would have done it ages ago." And suddenly I realized that I'd come to the root of the problem. I knew deep down that it wasn't the solution I wanted. And that was one of many factors that led me to take a year off and transfer. I knew that if I couldn't get myself to fill out these applications, it must mean the same thing. Luckily, exactly the opposite happened. I spend all my free time working on my applications. I'd rather work on my essays than watch TV or go out to the bars on the kibbutz or goof-off on facebook. I'm excited about applying. It seems like such an opportunity for me to really go back and fix the things I've done wrong. I feel confident in myself and I know everything will work out. I don't have to sit in front of the screen trying to think of who I am and what I want to do so that I can explain it in my essay. I know what I want to say. And when I'm finished, I feel like it honestly reflects who I am. If I don't get accepted, that's the way it is. But I know that it honestly portrays who I am and I'm confident and happy with myself. And that's a good feeling.